Today I will be featuring a character interview with Ellis McGowan from
Butterfly by Kyra Gregory.
Today we'll be talking to Ellis
McGowan, the psychiatrist who worked with the children in the
much-talked about Abbey disaster.
Originally, we hoped and planned to
interview Zack and Alex, the two eldest victims of the tragedy, whom
have been in your care for the past few months. What is the reason
you have turned up in their place?
The situations
they've been in lately, the things they've been through, have made
them eager to please but, from getting to know them, I realise that
this isn't what they'd want for themselves; they don't want to talk
about this to anyone they don't trust. I wouldn't want them to feel
like they had to do something to please me, or anyone else. I gave
them a choice, they took the one that felt right to them and I
wouldn't have it any other way.
You seem to have gotten to know them
quite well in the past few months, something you had mentioned was
certainly not going to be easy. Was it truly very difficult for you?
It was difficult
for everyone. I felt an unbelievable amount of pressure to make
things right for everyone and to do that I needed to be wise in my
approach with all the children. Zack and Alex are
particularly...mature so even the way I dealt with them had to be
different from the way I dealt with the younger ones. That made it
difficult for me. I consulted with my wife also; that put pressure on
her. It was certainly difficult for them too, of course; they went
from holding everything inside themselves like a secret that needed
to be protected with their lives and to take them out of that took a
lot of effort on their part.
It's been known for a while that
your wife, though unofficially, played quite a big part in all this
because you took Zack and Alex into your home. That's unusual
practice, isn't it?
It was an unusual
situation; sometimes unusual situations need to be tackled in some
unusual, possibly controversial, ways.
Do you worry about the responses you
received due to this decision?
The decision came
quickly but not easily; I did it for the benefit of the children. If
I wanted to think only of myself I would have let the state put Zack
and Alex in another institution before they were ready, away from all
the rest, and put my mind at ease that I could go home and take
myself away from it all for a few hours. I didn't; I went straight
from work in the hospital where the younger children were to work at
home where they were. That meant it was always on my mind and I was
always trying to move things in the right direction. Even if I
questioned myself at times I still knew I was doing the right thing
for them; if other experts believe they could have received the same
results in another way then that's great, they'll have something to
work with if such a tragedy were to arise again.
You ended up taking the two boys in
permanently, do you think that decision had anything to do with
having taken them into your home?
My eldest, prior
to Zack and Alex, was actually adopted so I've never been closed off
to the thought of adopting again. One way or another this could have
happened.
How is the family right now? They've
gone through quite a lot of changes these past few months.
My eldest was a
little apprehensive at first but my wife and I prepared her well; it
didn't take her too long to see the boys as part of the family. My
wife...is incredible; she was in the late stages of her pregnancy
when this all happened but she really worked hard and took it all in
her stride. Alex warmed up to us all quicker than Zack but I think
they're finally grasping that they have family now. It's a wonderful
thing that my youngest will grow up seeing them as older brothers.
And you? How do you feel about all
this now, especially now that you have good results?
I...almost don't
know how I feel. I struggled for a while to get the best results for
everyone and, though things are far from perfect, now that things
have fallen into place I feel good about everything. I think the best
part is that it made me realise the strength and love within my
family; as long as I have that to support me I feel like I can tackle
anything. I love Zack and Alex like my own children, my family too,
so I can only hope that they'll always be aware of the strength and
love we have for them so they can also feel like they can tackle
anything.